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Post by SA Hunter on May 7, 2019 15:15:21 GMT 10
THE IRISH HAVE THE LOWEST STRESS RATE BECAUSE THEY DO NOT TAKE MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY SERIOUSLY ... MEDICAL TERM IRISH DEFINITION
ARTERY - THE STUDY OF PAINTINGS BACTERIA -BACK DOOR TO CAFETERIA BARIUM - WHAT DOCTORS DO WHEN PATIENTS DIE BENIGN - WHAT YOU BE, AFTER YOU BE EIGHT CAESAREAN SECTION -A NEIGHBOURHOOD IN ROME CAT SCAN - SEARCHING FOR KITTY CAUTERIZE - MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HER COLIC - A SHEEP DOG COMA- A PUNCTUATION MARK DILATE - TO LIVE LONG ENEMA - NOT A FRIEND FESTER - QUICKER THAN SOMEONE ELSE FIBULA - A SMALL LIE IMPOTENT - DISTINGUISHED, WELL KNOWN LABOUR PAIN - GETTING HURT AT WORK MEDICAL STAFF - A DOCTOR'S CANE MORBID - A HIGHER OFFER NITRATES - RATES OF PAY FOR WORKING AT NIGHT, NORMALLY MORE MONEY THAN DAYS NODE - I KNEW IT OUTPATIENT - A PERSON WHO HAS FAINTED PELVIS - SECOND COUSIN TO ELVIS POST OPERATIVE - A LETTER CARRIER RECOVERY ROOM -PLACE TO DO UPHOLSTERY RECTUM - NEARLY KILLED HIM SECRETION -HIDING SOMETHING SEIZURE - ROMAN EMPEROR TABLET - A SMALL TABLE TERMINAL ILLNESS - GETTING SICK AT THE AIRPORT TUMOUR - ONE PLUS ONE MORE URINE - OPPOSITE OF YOU'RE OUT
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Post by spinifex on May 7, 2019 18:55:45 GMT 10
I know, I'm a dork for liking string quartets and the like. But this is hilarious. Nice balloon work! I kind of want to see a full ensemble of balloonists do a piece.
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Post by spinifex on May 28, 2019 20:10:25 GMT 10
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Post by spinifex on May 28, 2019 20:19:31 GMT 10
Wow. This guy has same world view as me!
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Post by spinifex on Jul 1, 2019 21:54:03 GMT 10
Er ... Ok. This guy thinks in interesting ways.
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Post by SA Hunter on Aug 6, 2019 23:44:20 GMT 10
George is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen to me very, very closely.
Are – my – test – results - back?"
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Post by SA Hunter on Aug 6, 2019 23:49:22 GMT 10
This notice can now be found in many French churches:
En entrant dans cette église, il est possible que vous entendiez l'appel de Dieu. Par contre, il n’est pas susceptible de vous contacter par téléphone. Merci d'avoir éteint votre téléphone. Si vous souhaitez parler à Dieu, entrez, choisissez un endroit tranquille et parle lui. Si vous souhaitez le voir, envoyez-lui un SMS enconduisant.
Translation:
It is possible that on entering this church, you may hear the Call of God. On the other hand, it is not likely that he will contact you by phone. Thank you for turning off your phone. If you would like to talk to God, come in, choose a quiet place, and talk to him. If you would like to see him, send him a text while driving.
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Post by spinifex on Nov 26, 2019 18:58:21 GMT 10
This guy has a whole series of these ... worth a look.
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Tim Horton
Senior Member
Posts: 1,763
Likes: 1,948
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Post by Tim Horton on Dec 5, 2019 5:32:00 GMT 10
SNOW FLAKES......
From a fellow Canadian poster on another forum....
It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead. 8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up . 8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, phobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested. By noon it all melted Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.
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Post by SA Hunter on Dec 5, 2019 8:20:54 GMT 10
SNOW FLAKES...... From a fellow Canadian poster on another forum.... It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead. 8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up . 8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, phobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested. By noon it all melted Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes. 8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. LOL - Pure GOLD!!!!!
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