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Post by SA Hunter on Jan 11, 2021 9:19:34 GMT 10
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Post by SA Hunter on Jan 12, 2021 19:51:36 GMT 10
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Post by SA Hunter on Feb 24, 2021 16:35:30 GMT 10
Nth Korean Army goose stepping to Benny Hill. (because its easier to swallow this way)
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Mar 6, 2021 9:28:56 GMT 10
This is good, I think... Actually damn good.. It literally applies any where..
I suspect other forums will not get this.. But believe the people here will understand and enjoy.
Dirt Diva, your from where y'all will appreciate this.. Likely heard it already..
This guy has several other songs out I have not listened to yet.. Enjoy..
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Mar 8, 2021 6:13:35 GMT 10
Corona and Southern Women.... A few things from my red neck Cajun cousins...
This corona must be bad, it is spreading faster than church gossip...
This is serious if-in they shut down the Waffle House..
If the corona don't kill my husband soon, I'm fixin to...
Is this the corona fever, or just a hot flash ??
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Post by SA Hunter on Apr 16, 2021 9:02:28 GMT 10
There were two nuns
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to ****us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. A little while later... SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,
Say two Hail Mary's!
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Post by spinifex on Apr 17, 2021 19:50:21 GMT 10
Brilliant!
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Apr 30, 2021 12:24:31 GMT 10
"Assault Skillet"...... Saw a short video from somewhere US that a counter protester was at some kind of ANTIFA, SJW, BLM, other BS rally where they started pushing, punching, breaking things and such..
Guy pulls out about a 10" cast iron skillet and lets several have it in the face with it.. It made a quite satisfying "ring" as justice landed.. The targets went down quick and stayed down..
LMAO.....
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lonewolf
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Post by lonewolf on May 11, 2021 0:23:36 GMT 10
Future QR Code
www bit chute dot com/video/zzUom557nHvN/ not working for some reason so here is a tiny link.
or just fix up the bit chute link, must be a language filter on the forum.
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Post by SA Hunter on May 12, 2021 21:01:13 GMT 10
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
Later, the priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all"
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Jun 15, 2021 8:07:16 GMT 10
Shocking news that Queen Elizbeth, Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump all die and are sent to hell..
As they are checking in they see a red phone on the desk... They ask what is that phone for ?? They are told it is a direct line back to earth...
Elizbeth calls London and talks for an hour... The bill is $1 million pounds.. Putin calls Moscow and talks for 2 hours... The bill is $2 million rubles.. Trump calls the US and talks 3 hours.... The bill is $5...
When the others protest why is his bill so cheap.. The devil replies... Since Biden took over, the US has gone to hell, so it is a local call...
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Jun 23, 2021 9:34:31 GMT 10
Barrowed from another forum....
Who will do the work ?? ??
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Jun 29, 2021 0:59:28 GMT 10
Remember.... Any of you who do eventually visit the US, if you ask your hotel for a wake up call, you will be told...
Yes.. The election was rigged.. The border with Mexico is indeed out of control..
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Post by Joey on Jun 29, 2021 17:56:28 GMT 10
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Post by SA Hunter on Jun 29, 2021 23:01:06 GMT 10
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade, too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him. He agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?" Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands."
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" The principal was trembling. Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher," Put Harry in the fifth grade. I got the last seven questions wrong."..................
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Post by SA Hunter on Jul 7, 2021 22:43:36 GMT 10
When Gandhi was studying law at University College, London, a Caucasian professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected, there were always arguments and confrontations.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch in the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, "Mr. Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions.
Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. "Mr. Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?"
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "The one with the money, of course."
Mr. Peters, smiling sarcastically, said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, "Each one takes what he doesn't have."
Mr. Peters, by this time, was beside himself and so great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi's exam sheet the word "idiot" and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor, and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."
Wit always wins over anger.
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Post by SA Hunter on Jul 10, 2021 18:06:38 GMT 10
A Queensland Police officer stopped at a farm in Maleny, and talked with an old farmer who was working on his tractor. He told the farmer, "i have suspicion that there is cannabis growing on your property and I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs right now." The old timer said, "Okay officer , but please don't go in that field over there.", as he pointed out the location.
The Queensland Cop verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the State and Federal Government with me !" He instantly opened his police wallet to produce his badge and arrogantly displayed it in the farmers face. "See this badge mate?! This badge means I am allowed by law to go wherever I wish.... On any land! No questions asked!
Do you understand ?!!"
The farmer nodded politely, apologised, he continued working on his tractor.
A short time later, the old farmer heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the cop running for his life, being chased by the farmer's big Brahman bull with the biggest horns in town......
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The old timer threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your BADGE!!"....................
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Post by SA Hunter on Jul 10, 2021 23:42:24 GMT 10
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frostbite
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Post by frostbite on Jul 11, 2021 9:28:12 GMT 10
I used to love watching Aggro.
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Post by SA Hunter on Jul 26, 2021 10:01:02 GMT 10
What Is Couple Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is a couple sex?
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question then she's old enough to get a straight answer.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities that go along with it.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her,
"Why did you ask this question, honey?
The little girl replied, "Well, Grandma says to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.
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