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Post by Stealth on Sept 8, 2022 8:30:08 GMT 10
So today is "R U OK" day for those of us in Australia. Makes me a little uncomfortable, to see such an important question shortened down and made lesser. Anyway, that's a personal gripe with marketing. Today I'll be checking the forum regularly, so if you want to talk feel free to bump this thread or even just PM me directly and we can have a chat. It doesn't have to be anything huge. You lost your favourite hat. You stubbed your toe this morning. You haven't had a good day for a few months, and maybe there's something more going on than a stretch of bad luck. For anyone that's feeling uncomfortable I'm happy to share to break the ice. I have zero discomfort discussing mental health because I see it as no different to my messed up knees or stupid female biology 😆. I've recently found out been to see a psych and he told me (I laughed about this with some friends, as if we didn't know!) that I have pretty high-key anxiety. Everything is a threat assessment, and anything that is an unknown is a threat. But a lot of known things are threats too. My mind constantly seeks out the negative in every single situation and assesses how much danger it is to me and those around me, and I'll often 'throw myself in front of the threat' to protect others. That means I'm picking up other people's work and requirements and even their mental health stresses to shield them from MY imagined threat... And I've been doing this unconsciously for many, many years. I'm learning to pick up on when I'm doing it. Which is like, always. So it's pretty easy to notice lmao. But the reality is that it's taken me a long time to learn that response. It'll take a long time to unlearn it. It's hard. And frustrating. And exhausting. And at some points I find myself doing it even harder almost as if to justify the fact that it's worth being permanently mentally exhausted for no good reason. So. If you want a chat and someone who gets what it's like to just... Be. I'm here all day! We can even just talk about what sort of hat your favourite is. Mine is a baseball cap, but I have a pretty great akubra that I love for sunny days too
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Sept 8, 2022 9:41:33 GMT 10
I have pretty high-key anxiety. Everything is a threat assessment, and anything that is an unknown is a threat. --- --- Chuckle.... Not funny, but funny to a point... I'm some what the same to a degree... For instance.. Something moves and I catch it in the corner of my eye.. It is needed to be checked out to see just exactly what the hell is going on... Check it out until my comfort level is satisfied.. An example is the day the 200+ kilo black bear decided to chase after our 120 kilo donkey.. All attention was at full alert until that issue was resolved... Resolved to my level of satisfaction...
A certain amount of "warry" is not a bad trait.. My 5 cents of opinion...
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Post by Stealth on Sept 8, 2022 11:28:52 GMT 10
You're absolutely right! Being switched on is definitely a key survival note. The problem for some of us is the switching off again afterwards. That's where apparently I'm a little broken. My on switch is extremely loose and flippy, my off switch is hidden in someone else's garage three blocks down the road 🤣.
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malewithatail
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Post by malewithatail on Sept 8, 2022 11:30:48 GMT 10
My short term memory issues have got worse, to the extent that I now cant work in my chosen Engineering discipline, cant drive more than 10 km from the farm, and then, only with someone with me. Sucks getting older. At least that keeps me here to do more prepping. Center link is useless, applied for benefits 2 months ago, back and forth with little resolution, but no income as I'm not allowed to work. Catch 22. Now talking about a pension.
Every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
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Post by ausprep130 on Sept 8, 2022 12:06:15 GMT 10
My mind constantly seeks out the negative in every single situation and assesses how much danger it is to me and those around me, and I'll often 'throw myself in front of the threat' to protect others. That means I'm picking up other people's work and requirements and even their mental health stresses to shield them from MY imagined threat... Many years ago I dated a girl who was constantly going through crisis after crisis. I found myself getting 'sucked' into all her crisis and felt drained emotionally. I stumbled across a few books. One was called "Emotional Vampires - Dealing with people who drain you dry" and the other was similar in nature but I can't recall the title. They were great and helped immensely. I was still able to be there for her but was able to disconnect from her crisis. Oh, and I think being able to see a threat is better than not being able to see one.
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Post by Stealth on Sept 8, 2022 12:06:28 GMT 10
I'm sorry to hear that MWT. Memory issues are so tied into so many things that we do even without thinking that it can feel like a real loss to have small things that you KNOW you knew, suddenly and seemingly randomly out of reach.
Are you seeing a healthcare professional specifically in regards to that? The reason I ask is that your GP can provide you with (depending on where you live) 10-15 free mental health support appointments with a telehealth psych. My mum works for a company that matches clients to psychs, and she has a particular interest in mental health for older Aussies. They're absolutely amazing because you don't have to go anywhere to see someone if you're not close to a physical facility and they can even help to direct you to further services that can benefit you that aren't just psych related (medical etc.).
There's an absolute wealth of information out there to help build on mental retention nowadays and as we know the brain is an interesting beast. One of the nicest things about mental health is that you don't necessarily have to be sitting in someone's office to have a chat. I find it a bit easier to word vomit at someone if I'm not subconsciously spending every second looking for micro-expressions to judge their response to what I'm saying hahaha.
CLink are... Well, beyond garbage. Is your local office very big? I know for most places it's really hard to get a hold of someone that can assist. There's groups around who can help with paperwork and getting things submitted for you but often they're either difficult to get into as they're in high demand, or they have a price attached. But honestly I think it's very well worth getting on those wait lists even if you think it'll take longer to get someone assigned than it will for your pension to be approved. People who know the system are worth their weight in gold and can help you find access to things you didn't even know were on offer.
But all of that to say... What a crappy experience. I can't say I know what it feels like, but even trying to imagine it is pretty darn stressful. Living with it must be tough but it shows me what a mind you have because you still taught me stuff about solar that normally would roll in one ear and out the other!
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frostbite
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Post by frostbite on Sept 8, 2022 12:15:49 GMT 10
You're absolutely right! Being switched on is definitely a key survival note. The problem for some of us is the switching off again afterwards. That's where apparently I'm a little broken. My on switch is extremely loose and flippy, my off switch is hidden in someone else's garage three blocks down the road 🤣. Is your off switch at the bottom of a bottle of fine red?
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Post by Stealth on Sept 8, 2022 12:17:35 GMT 10
Many years ago I dated a girl who was constantly going through crisis after crisis. I found myself getting 'sucked' into all her crisis and felt drained emotionally. I stumbled across a few books. One was called "Emotional Vampires - Dealing with people who drain you dry" and the other was similar in nature but I can't recall the title. They were great and helped immensely. I was still able to be there for her but was able to disconnect from her crisis. I know quite a bit about the emotional vampire types, because just being around them turns the volume up to 11 on my anxiety. I think I'm unconsciously pretty good at picking up the drama llama type and just not engaging. Intentional drama makes me very impatient because there's REAL threats out there that I have to be alert to (I don't actually think that way consciously, but apparently my SUBconscious is a baller at looking for danger rofl). So people who constantly vibrate on the 'I need all eyes on me, all the time' level get me edgy very quickly. I start to match their energy without even realising because I tend to mirror the person I'm communicating with and next thing I know I walk away from an interaction needing a nap or a strong shot of whisky 🤣. Mirroring is amazing for communication and getting messages across but when you physiologically mirror as well... MAN is it tiring.
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Post by Stealth on Sept 8, 2022 12:25:10 GMT 10
Is your off switch at the bottom of a bottle of fine red? It's been known to reside there in the past 🤣. But then the hangovers happen and I'm not a fan of those! I've actually fairly recently found that one of the best off switches (at least for me, as a temporary measure) is a 10mg melatonin tablet about a half hour before bed time. No grogginess the next day, not habit forming, and easy to order online in large amounts to stockpile without worrying about broken bottles. And then I can keep the nice red for when I want a nice red rather than a nap.
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malewithatail
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Post by malewithatail on Sept 8, 2022 13:42:08 GMT 10
I'm lucky that my temperament is chilled, I don't worry too much about things, blood pressure is 110/55, never smoked, or drank to excess. Ive never had a good memory, learning at school was very hard, repeating facts more so. I failed to matriculate the Higher school, but ended up getting a Engineering trainee ship at AIS, now BHP.
I was a lecturer for a while, but my style didn't fit in with the rote learning that was required, so left that.
Anyway, its all slowly crashing down, so I hope it does before I cant remember what happened yesterday.
God grant me the serenity to accept the thing I cant change, and change the things I can.
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Post by Stealth on Sept 8, 2022 14:04:56 GMT 10
It sounds like you've had more challenges than others with learning MWT... And clearly conquered them anyway! But don't forget. Your ability to do a particularly skilled thing doesn't make you who you are. It's a part of you for sure, but a reduction of that particular skill doesn't degrade your value to your community.
Our very presence can be life-affirming to people that we interact with. Don't underestimate your value in being a calm-natured person. Sitting with someone who can just... BE... Is something I value regularly in this hectic day and age.
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Tim Horton
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Post by Tim Horton on Sept 9, 2022 3:57:59 GMT 10
My on switch is easily triggered... If your off switch is found with the help of a guy named Jack Daniels, or Jim Beam ....that can be a problem....
My extreme and often on and off sequences came with experiences from the mid 1960s.. It took a long while to level out the highs and lows of the swings but is manageable.. Even now on a rare occasion there will be a small flare up... Sweetie tolerates, but I think has trouble understanding..
Actually... There has been the odd time a keen awareness and quick "on" trigger has been beneficial... Not often, but occasionally..
Remember.. I'm not a psychologist, but I paid for ones education...
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